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LYMPNE FINALLY PUT TO THE SWORD

LYMPNE FC 2

SLAYER FC 6

F McCormack (3) A Binns (2) M Wilbourn (1)  

Team: Julian Grobellar, Nick Lawrenson, Matt Hanson, Mark Kennedy, Mark Lee, Ian Souness, Nick Mcdermott, Steve Fairclough, Andre Kennedy, Fred Dalgleish, Alec Highway

subs; Adam Rush, Graham Keegan.

Before the game, pitch inspection revealed soft under foot, certainly not slayers favourable conditions, it had cramp, stray passes, bobbles, trench foot written all over it. The mood however was positive with a few clean sheets and no lossess since the first two games of the season. Freds ego needed goals to maintain good sleeping patterns, graham and nick thomson needed to play well just in case they lost their jobs at pfizers and needed alternative careers in the premier league to maintain their equivalent salaries, mark and mark were competing to score their first goals for slayer and save their masculinity, alec had run out of excuses and steve was tired of being a cart horse and wanted to show he was really a stallion.

Alec chose for us to kick against the wind and up the slope first half which was to be a good decision (it had been a long time since anyone had changed ends from the toss and hence confusion on both sides faces)

The first ten fifteen minutes were promising with slayer attempting to play good standard football, lympne our nemesis looked strong but lacked the europrean flare that nick mourinho saunders had drilled into us. It was not long unfortunately, before we had a casualty in the somme, alec went off and adam many a car binns took up alecs position. The first goal arrived 15 - 20 mins into play with a cooper cross and a power header from fred, the ball hit the cross bar and dropped to the carnage of players grounded beneath from freds force. According to eye witnessess it was adam 1cm from the line that poked it home however it is being contested by fred and is in the hands of the slayer bereaucrats. 2-0 arrived i think in a similar way this time from the right and it was a fred goal. Lympne came back pretty soon after gaps in midfield ( nick and ian were discussing the woes of childbirth) score 2-1. Defence had to dig in with matt and mark, mark and nick all playing exceptionaly well. Against the run of play (cant remember the build up) fred found himself unmarked and in front of goal, with a smile on his face and the cold january wind blowing through his red locks he poked it away for 3-1.

Half time Nick thomson off for graham, steve off for Alec.

With the wind and slope plus 3-1 up things looked good. Slayer pinned lympne in their half for the next 45 minutes and had many a chance, julian made a couple of important saves with a couple of rare lympne attacks, graham went off injured and nick returned to maintain a solid defence. Details of this half are cloudy although adam scored a really good goal (well done adam) and fred scored a really good goal (well done fred). The highlight was a well taken tap in from Mark the real man wilbourn, his first goal for slayer in three seasons. I wouldnt be suprised if he got lucky that night!! mark the highly inadequate cooper has still to score. Lympne were lucky to score a second from a lapse in slayers concentration. At the end whistle against a team that beat us 2-1 at the start of the season and this their second only defeat this season a 6-2 whopping was a great slayer result and fantastic team performance. Onwards and upwards!!!!!!!!!!

Man of the match: Mark Wilbourn

Team : Julian, Nick S, Matt, Fred, Alec,  Andre, Adam, Nick T, Ian, Mark C, Steve J, Graham, Mark W