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IT'S CITY'S TURN THIS TIME CCFC VETS 5 F McCormack (2) J Harris (2) I Cockerill (1)
ST LUKES FC 4
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Rearrangements had conspired to pitch City against St. Luke’s for the third time this season, and with one game apiece it had the makings of a tight game. The venue this time was Pfizer, the home of the pharmaceutical company responsible for a range of uplifting drugs, including Viagra. Would the venue prove to be uplifting for City or would we all be looking for a course of antidepressants come the final whistle? The game started well for City with the early exchanges seeing the best chances falling to the home team. The defence looked strong and in the spirit of the venue proved to be real antagonists to St. Luke’s forwards. The midfield was working hard, the pharmacokinetics apparently in good order, allowing the ball to be worked along all the right neural pathways. All that was required was for the forward line to effectively work as receptors for passes and influence the pharmacodynamics of the game by producing some electricity. The impulse was duly triggered midway through the first half when some neat distribution from Fred produced an opening for Ian to go one on one with the keeper. The threat of being metabolised by the closing St. Luke’s enzymatic defenders didn’t stop Ian coolly drawing out their keeper and lofting the ball over his despairing lunge and into the far bottom left corner of the net. One action potential to nil! The side effect of City’s euphoria came soon after, however, when a ball that should have been cleared and a defender the wrong side of his attacker’s phospholipid membrane resulted in the ball breaking free to a corpulent midfielder who duly dispatched the ball past Julian in goal to make it one action potential apiece! If only City had got their emulsifiers in position. This was not a time for City to start excreting themselves!
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It was time to rid ourselves of the toxic hangover of conceding. With liver and kidneys working in harmony City were able to assert themselves again and push forward towards that all important synapse where chemical endeavour is turned into an electrical goal. That goal came from Joe. Free of tetrahydrocannabinols and with a clear head and the goal in front of him he received a pass from Fred and drilled the ball into the same bottom left hand corner that Ian had found earlier. Two action potentials to one! It is at this point that the heady chemical mix of the venue starts to have an impact on the reporter’s hippocampus resulting in some amnesia. Apologies if the remainder of the report lacks detail and accuracy but I have lodged a disclaimer with my solicitor. Fred was next on hand to give City their third. With strength and determination he was able to hold off the overly close attention of the St. Luke’s defence and strike what was hoped would be the killer blow for City. Half time arrived with City in a commanding position and looking to come out in the second half and block any neural pathways that St. Luke’s might look to exploit. |
The second half started with renewed vigour from the away team and a loss of confidence from City. The home team was now struggling to keep hold of the ball and it wasn’t long before our phospholipids barrier was breached for a second time with another well taken effort from the St. Luke’s strike force. City were now in danger of becoming intoxicated with cirrhosis a real possibility if the wave of St. Luke’s attacked couldn’t be resisted. The resilience that is City showed in some solid defending and one foray up front resulted in City extending their lead – and it was Joe again. Coming in from the right he was able to use his pace to breach the offside barrier and strike low and hard past the oncoming keeper. Back came St. Luke’s and it was no surprise when some neat interneuronal interchanges bamboozled the home defence and a crisp shot from the edge of the synapse went in off Julian’s near post. It was left to Fred, now secure in his man-of-the-match performance, to give City some breathing space – and we needed it. St. Luke’s never gave up and took it to the wire with a further action potential of their own. Dopamine was rushing through the mesolimbic pathways of the City players at the end producing a real euphoria from a hard fought but well deserved victory (Joe experiencing this without the need for THC!). Man of the match: Fred McCormack Team : Julian, Nick S, Matt, Fred, Ian, Dave R, Mark K, Darren, Steve J, Graham, Joe |
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